Monday, February 7, 2011

Bloody Europeans

We have european wasp. Not wasps, just wasp. One, which has been forwarded to the department of Ag in a wee lunch baggie. Thank my lucky stars MOTH didn't dump it in a dime bag, I don't want to be forwarding that to the authorities, even if it was only used to store buttons.

We also have a vast collection on paper wasps filling the garage, so when the authorities decided to have a wander around the backyard hunting them, they originally decided that I just couldnt tell my Nordics from my wrapping supplies. To be fair I feel like the Europeans are making things unneccesarily difficult by not having blonde hair and wearing little viking helmets.

I know what to do about the paper wasps, although I need to keep my nerve for at least another 6 hours until the sun sets before going out to torture them, but the single solitary euro is apparently cause for a little fanfare from small delegations of local council officials looking nervous and the appropriation of my wee baggies.

I've been instructed to remove all the paperwasp nests, before spending a good week inspecting anything that floats around looking wasplike and seeing if the Euro has any friends. It doesnt seem to likely as the area apparently hasn't had a decent turnout of Euro's in 20 years, but that doesn't explain my little soloist.

It hardly seems fair that the only damn nasties in 20 years turn up at my house. I seem to get every damn pest in creation swarming my house. The influx of flies, spider and ants at the moment I don't mind too much, they're only mildly icky, but my house is also prone to seasonal mice, the odd rat, a few lost bush cockroaches and what I really hope is either a cat or a morbidly obese possum in the roof. The possibility has been suggested that its a very quiet stalker. As long as it doesnt eat the rafters I'm ok with that. The only housemates here I'm truly reviled against are the billions of german cockroaches (what is it with this post and stuff from Europe?) Three times we've had the house treated with stuff so powerful its illegal in most other first world countries and they just dont give a damn. When we're finished with this house we're probably going to have to burn it down, and every thing we've ever owned inside.

The first person to mention living a more hygenic lifestyle gets a dirty look.

In fact, a good friend of mine has had a house she felt so grubby that she wouldn't let us visit for about 3 years. She's recently got her first mouse. Her first. Not freaking cool mousie! So she will be my excuse for merely running a vaguely maintained house while I have a bit more fun instead of cleaning.

On that note, I'm pretty sure the mopping is calling me... Nah, a cuppa tea it is.

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